Mail from Malaysia - The New Airport

Three days in Thailand was a nice, pleasant break for us earlier this week. But I am a bit of a romantic and still think of it's previous centuries old name of SIAM. Siam seemed to be a name that conjured up images of mystical Asian enchantment, where one could close ones eyes and travel through a country that, as a child, one had only read about. But back to the reality of this day and age. It was still a peaceful time for us, as we only went to the small border town of Golok on the Eastern coast, and didn't have to put up with all the touristy hype of places like Phuket, (say that when you've had a few too many), and Pattaya, and of course the second worse place on the planet, Bangkok.

My last memories of Bangkok were when we stayed in the Merlin Hotel in about the centre of town, and were awoken at about 3 am by the sound of several gunshots in rapid succession! Whoa I said, I don't need this to help me feel the culture of the place. Next morning we were on the bus to Pattaya, and that was before it became the terrible tourist place it is today. But I have done it again haven't I, that is digressed. The nice thing about Golok, was that there was so little traffic on the first day, I thought there was some sort of holiday and most of the towns folk had gone away. But no, it remained relatively quiet and with little traffic for the 3 days we were there.

We never spent a cent on anything other than food or accommodation, there was just nothing there that was worth buying. They are so backward not one of the cassette shops had the latest Madonna album, and the clothing shops were selling T shirts that looked like the ones they sold in Pattaya and Hat Yai five years ago. But we didn't go for the razz-a-ma-tazz, we went for a rest and that's what we did. Okay, I know what your all thinking, "this guys life is one permanent holiday so why would he want a rest?" My wife wanted the rest and I just went to keep her company. But I really am seriously thinking about looking for a job, maybe about the year 2000 would be the time to start I think. No, don't laugh, I'm trying to be serious here.

The subject of the Haze is always good for a bit of bashing, so let me give you another story about it. "HAZE FREE, SO OPEN BURNING NOW ALLLOWED"! Yep, that's right fellow Asthmatics, that was the headline in the local daily for all to see. This country has been relatively free from the dreaded haze for a few weeks, and it appears the powers that be are not happy for their citizenry to breathe fresh air again. To quote a Government spokesman, (to hell with being politically correct), " The API has been constantly within the healthy level for the past three weeks. In view of this, the board declares it haze free. The board may now receive applications for open burning."

Asked why the board was allowing open burning again after the recent experience with severe haze the response was, "It had to be done to meet the needs of farmers and cultivators. These farmers need to earn a living. " The last paragraph was a real doozy folks, cop this! Asked to comment on the danger of another serious haze occurring they gave an assurance that "As soon as the haze returns, the board will revoke all permits." Well bust my britches and shush my mouth honey chile, wasn't open burning the cause of the haze in the first place? A bit like giving as nutter a loaded gun and saying "If she shoots anyone we will then remove the bullets." Okay, so don't say you weren't warned, apart from the need to bring your own water, you will need a face mask also. Water! Yes, the rationing is still on, and a million or so residents are listening to air rushing through their taps instead of cool water.

Ballet exams have been and gone here, and the pass rate was much higher than expected with a 93% success rate. Unfortunately we had to endure an examiner from a western country that shall remain nameless for the sake of international relations, but I believe there are about 10 million more sheep there than people, and it is covered by a big long white cloud! The examiner was unable to make cultural adjustments for this country, and seemed to think she was examining students who were all going to be Prima Donnas in some famous Ballet Company, rather than children who merely came to tuition because they enjoy dancing.

Sadly she was unable to accept the fact that most of the kids can't speak English, and she was quite unhappy that they were not all able to say "Good Morning Ms Harrison". Oh well, you just gotta go with the flow and take it on the chin. The bright side to all this was that we had a great presentation ceremony, (a week after the examiner had left), where 95 children were personally presented with their certificates from the Royal Academy of Dancing, London, by the wife of the top Chinese politician in this state. The evening went very well with both Fathers and Mothers accompanying their children, and also a lot of friends.

The delight on the faces of the children as the parents clicked away with their cameras was more than reward enough for the effort to arrange it all. They came up onto the stage one at a time, and received their certificates from DATIN SAI AH GAN, who was very obliging to the children by being quite happy to pose with each recipient so the parents were able to take photographs. We also had good coverage by the local media, which was great as Ballet is not well known in this part of the world and many people are not aware of it's existence.

The last few weeks have been quite hair raising for the villagers from Kampung Kajang, in Sungai Siput. Two of their residents have been mauled and killed by a tiger whilst working their land. Then they had the armed police and army personnel escorting the villagers wherever they went, whilst working in the fields or bathing and washing in the river, because of the fear from further tiger attacks. The wildlife department sent a team in with tranquilliser guns hoping to capture the tiger so it could be moved to another region, because of the dwindling numbers.

The Malayan Tiger (panthera tigris) tops the endangered species list here in Malaysia and there are only about 500 left in existence, and only a few decades ago their number was in the range of 5,000! Having said all that, it is with regret I have to say they found the tiger and promptly shot it dead! Why, I hear you ask. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. Sure, it killed two people, but it was only foraging for food in it's natural habitat, a habitat that has been drastically reduced by man moving in to it's domain and depleting the tigers natural food source. I feel the same sense of useless frustration when I read about a crocodile in the NT attacking a swimmer and then every man and his dog wants to kill it. Why? Shark attacks swimmer! Let's all get into our boats and hunt it down and kill it. Why? Those instances where an animal, mammal, or whatever, is merely doing what it does naturally in it's own environment, is not justification for wiping out the entire species. The tiger they killed was about 20 to 25 years old, weighed 140 kilogram, and was about three metres long, and a male still capable of breeding. But not any more!

I promised someone I wouldn't go on about the new KLIA, (Kuala Lumpur International Airport), anymore, but I have to make a small mention, so forgive me. Forget about the human cargo, and lets take a brief look at the cargo that is cargo. So the cold storage didn't work either did it? Never mind about all the perishable food stuffs that were dumped by the tonne for the first week, that is really immaterial. What was nauseating was the colour photos of the dumping ground where turtles had been dumped and their crate had broken open, the few remaining live ones were soon crushed by the tractor working there. What were turtles doing being shipped out of this country, where they are on the endangered list? Better still, where are the bloody Greenies mate! As usual they are conspicuous by their absence, the same as they will be when Indonesia recommences burning the rainforests again this year. Do any of those people ever read this. I offer them an open forum to air their rebuttal of my allegations.

NEWS IN BRIEF

C-R-A-S-H! And a truck loaded with more than a hundred crates of beer went over on it's side and crates of the golden ale were scattered from here to next week. Needless to say it created quite a large traffic jam, but as it's needless to say it, please ignore that sentence. The prompt arrival of the Police prevented the public from helping themselves to free beer from the crates on the roadway. Now that would have been a real let down eh? What about the driver and his helper? Well, the helper is fine, he got off without a scratch, but unfortunately the driver was sent to the hospital for a blood test, as the Police suspected he was driving under the influence of alcohol! What a hoot eh, looks like he had been sampling the load to see if it was fit for human consumption. Ha ha ha.

A recently divorced couple have sought the help of their local legal aid advisor to settle a dispute over property. No, we are not talking about a million dollar house, a BMW, golf club membership, or even their spoilt little rug rats! This property dispute is over an old motorcycle! She is 50, and he is 69, and you would think at that age they would be able to deal with it on their own. They are talking about a 100cc piece of junk that should have gone to Browns scrap yard 10 years ago. Oh the trials and tribulations of being the proud possessor of such an illustrious piece of machinery. Still, Russ Swinnerton would more than likely jump at the chance to own another oldy.

Each year in the first week of July there is a Floral Parade in KL, and some states and private businesses decorate floats in their own themes with flowers, and the previous years have seen some very nice entries too. This year however, ( as much as I whinge and whine), my state, Pahang, won the competition with their entry. It depicted the simple pastimes of the Orang Asli, such as top spinning and playing the "congkak". The concept was to highlight the importance of preserving local culture. They were hoping to bring the float to Kuantan, to parade it around the town, but unfortunately it would not have been able to pass through the tunnel that is about 45 kms from KL near Bentong

To Bernie:
Thanks for the comments, and it would certainly be nice if you were to return here again one day. I have taken the liberty of pasting in part of your email to me. If you would rather I didn't, tough luck, so sue me! But you know I don't mean that. Don't you?

********* What a trip to KL!!! I had been reading about the opening of the airport in the Star (on the Internet of course) and even looked over the layout of the new airport. I could really relate to your story. There is something about that general lack of competency when several Malays are attempting to work out a problem. The smarter ones are smart enough to take a hike and leave the lesser to work through the problems.

A friend of mine and I spent time in KL trying to work out an IC card stamp and a deal with the US Embassy. I got that hopeless feeling several times on those days. Tks for the good article. Later **************

Right Bernie, later dude.

To Peter:
Thanks for the great Pavlova recipe, now all I have to do is learn to cook. What say you throw it together for me, and I will eat it? Sounds like great idea.

July 18th 1998 ANTHONY. (Wherever I go, that's where I am.)
July 1998